The Weirdest Episode of The Sopranos

Alright you guys can see the release date of this video. It’s basically become an April Fools tradition on my channel at this point that I review a tangentially related piece of Sopranos media. That way if people don’t like it, I can just write it off as a joke.

Today we’re going to be looking at quite possibly one of the weirdest things Nickelodeon has ever done… besides all the other weird stuff of course. Nicky Deuce is a made for television movie, as is basically The Sopranos for kids. It’s based on a children’s book actually written by Steve Schirripa. Now everyone in the Sopranos community knows Steve, not only for starring as Bobby Baccala on the show, but also as the cohost of the Talking Sopranos podcast. Well turns out he’s actually an author as well. Who knew he was so creative?

“To the victor, belongs the spoils.”

“Why don’t you get the fuck outta here before I shove your quotations book up your fat fucking ass.”

- Bobby Bacala & Tony Soprano

Nicky Deuce tells the story of Nicholas Borelli the second, a boring teenager living in the suburbs. Though his family is Italian, they’re like the Cusamanos, Americanized and white as hell.

“Now he’s Italian, but he’s a merigan. He’s what my old man would have called a Wonderbread wop. He eats his Sunday gravy out of a jar.”

- Tony

When his parents are sent on an unexpected business trip, they reluctantly send Nicholas to stay with his grandmother in Brooklyn, whom he has never met. They warn him that that side of the family is crazy, and tell him to especially stay away from his troublemaking uncle Frank.

When Nicholas arrives in Brooklyn, he’s immediately a fish out of water in the city. However he meets Donna, a local girl who helps him get acclimated to the neighborhood. He also meets his grandmother Tutti, played by actress Rita Moreno. She’s had a long and incredible career in Hollywood, but if you’re like me, you’ll recognize her from her role as Sister Pete in Oz.

In contrast to his father’s warnings, Tutti is a kind and loving grandmother, cooking delicious Italian food that Nicholas has never eaten before. His Uncle Frank too, though rough around the edges, looks out for Nicholas and shows him around the neighborhood. Frank is played of course by Steve himself.

We’re then introduced to Frank’s friends, whom he describes as his partners in crime. You’ll of course recognize the great Tony Sirico as Charlie Cement, and the fact that this vaguely mafia-eqsue crew is multiracial. How progressive!

After this, Nicholas begins to suspect that his uncle is involved with the Mafia. One day, he answers his uncle’s phone and talks with Paulie, the boss of the neighborhood, played by Vincent Curatola. He gives Nicky a job to go and make a collection for him. Taking the advice of his friend that he should man up and be like the guys on tv, Nicholas decides to do it.

Nicholas and his new associate Tommy then go to collect from this guy Bobby Eggs. Eggs is played by James Gandolfini, in what was actually one of the last roles he played before his untimely death. Through a series of slapstick accidents, Nicholas ends up beating Eggs up, who gives him the money he owes. When he asks for Nicholas’s name, he decides to create a new, cooler identity for himself.

“They call me Nicky. Nicky Deuce.”

- Nicholas “Nicky Deuce” Borelli

With his new name and his now tough reputation on the streets, Nicky feels at home in Brooklyn. He even takes Donna on a date to the local Italian festival. However at the fair, he overhears cops discussing his Uncle’s activities, and thinks that he is being set up to be arrested. However, before he can warn him, he’s taken to see Paulie.

Paulie then orders him to go pick up something for him from their warehouse. When they get there, they see this weird German scientist, played by Michael Imperioli, hypnotizing the horse to make it run faster. Nicky realizes that Paulie is fixing the races to make money, and believing that his uncle is being set up on this, steals the horse and hides it.

In retaliation for this, Paulie has Tutti kidnapped. Nicky agrees to exchange the horse for his grandmother, but at the exchange his father shows up, having come back from his trip because he was worried about him. The gangsters then find the horse, and with no need for them anymore, tie the Borelli family and friends up.

Frank and Tutti confront Nicholas’s father for abandoning them, and he fires back that Frank’s troublemaking is what got them into this situation. However Nicky tells them they need to work together. They end up escaping after taking out all the guards.

Meanwhile the race has ended and Paulie’s horse has won. He goes to collect his massive payout, but is arrested when he does. It’s revealed that Frank is actually an undercover police officer, and not actually a criminal. Nick’s father apologizes for thinking the worst, and the Borelli family is reunited. Nicky gets the girl, learns about being cool, and roll credits.

Alright you guys already know why I’m reviewing this. For being a made for television Nickelodeon movie, the film has an incredible cast of Sopranos veterans. This is entirely due to it being Steve’s project, as he was able to reach out to his fellow Sopranos actors to get them to do the parts.

Even Nicky himself is played by Noah Munck, most famous for playing Gibby on iCarly. By the way, I did a quick search to see what Noah has been up to since then, and uh… yeah it’s not what I expected at all. Pretty interesting through.

The movie also has what I am sure a lot of intentional callbacks to the show. Charlie says Nicky has been watching too many movie’s, just like they said about Christopher.

Much of the plot revolves around a horse, just like Pie O My. Also Frank forgot his phone in his car when Nicky was trying to call and warn him, just like Bobby did the Blue Comet. Luckily it worked out better than that situation.

However, aside from the Sopranos casting, how is the movie itself? Um, well it’s a made for television Nickelodeon movie. It’s as corny as you’d expect it to be. It’s not horrible by any means, in fact I was pretty entertained throughout the film. I was even pleasantly surprised at how much crime they were allowed to show. Someone even whips out a gun at one point. When I was growing up, kids' shows were never allowed to show something like that.

Now it might be a little pedantic to throw criticisms at a movie like this, but I did have one problem with the film. Tommy, the sidekick. He pretty much only exists for comic relief, in the most childish, corny ways possible. Even in 2013, we were well past this era of writing characters. Also Nicky has another friend character, I can’t even recall his name, but he only serves as an exposition opportunity for Nicky. It’s kinda weird they have two underdeveloped sidekick characters in the movie, they probably should have combined the characters into one and given him actual development. Instead of you know, whatever this is.

But that’s pretty much it for the video. Is this movie actually Sopranos for kids? I guess, or you can just show your kids the actual Sopranos. Afterall I watched Oz as a kid. And I mean when has HBO content ever scarred a young, impressionable kid?